Cyndi

By James Robinette

“Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” 2 Corinthians 5:20-21.

Cyndi’s homecoming from the hospital in Mom’s arms was a time of unusual warmth, happiness, and promise in our home. “Behold, children are a heritage from the lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3. Cyndi was born as the last child in our family which also included two sons. I’m the oldest brother and I thank the Lord Jesus Christ that I can share with you, friend, about my baby sister and her short and tumultuous life.

It seemed that her coming into our family ushered in a season of hope as Mom and Dad were delighted to have a daughter together and we all felt that perhaps now the pain and sense of alienation that we all experienced in our home would be over. Mom and Dad drank alcohol heavily, usually beer, sometimes wine or whiskey, and it was often that their drunkenness erupted into physical violence after a period of verbal insulting and taunting. “The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 10:11.

I followed the example my parents set for me and first drank alcohol as a young child of perhaps six or seven as I was given “tastes” from their drinks. I became very drunk and passed out during a drinking episode when I was thirteen as a friend and I took vodka and other drink into a movie theatre. I managed to consume most of a quart. I suffered greatly because of my foolishness. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12.

My life and drunkenness worsened and led to heavy drug usage and greater misery until, by
God’s grace, He saved me from my hell-bent life when I was thirty-two. “Good understanding gains favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard.” Proverbs 13:15. I haven’t drunk alcohol or used drugs for the twenty-three wonderful years now that I have walked with Jesus. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified [set apart to God in holy living, that which pleases God and doesn’t violate His law], but you were justified [declared to be right by God the Judge] in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.

My brother, too, began drinking at an early age and continues to this day, as far as I know, and he does not believe he has “a problem with alcohol.” “But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age [Satan or the devil] has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.” 2 Corinthians 4:3-4. Those of us who drink excessively and so commit this sin of drunkenness are many times slow to confess to ourselves, much less to others, the truth. We often refuse to see and confess that we are lost in our sin and are powerless to turn from it in our own strength. “By transgression an evil man is snared, but the righteous sings and rejoices.” Proverbs 29:6.

Baby Cyndi brought a lightness and life to our desperate family held in dire bondage to pride, fighting, and lust for drink. “This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.” Ephesians 4:17-19. “Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in you members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war.” James 4:1-2. We all made much of her and she grew up expecting and demanding everyone’s praise and attention. We tried to guard her from the frequent fights but she also became involved and would cry out, screaming that the bloodshed would stop. She many times mouthed the words she heard—“I hate you!”—and cursed. “Jesus answered him, ‘The first [foremost] of all the commandments is “Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.’” Mark 12:29-31. “Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” Romans 3:14.

Cyndi lent some normalcy to our home-life as she attended dance lessons and became friends with neighboring children. She grew and learned quickly and did well in school. Someone in the family nick-named her “Cinders.” Our hopes failed as time ran on—we saw that Cinders couldn’t hold the family together. Our many sins in unbelief caused family and personal disintegration. “The righteousness of the blameless will direct his way aright, but the wicked will fall by his own wickedness.” Proverbs 11:5. It was inevitable that she would follow suit in her family’s ways and she became quite self-focused, proud, and sought to commandeer her childhood friends.

Mom and Dad split up when Cyndi was about nine years old and this was very hard on my kid sister. Cyndi became more troubled as she grew older and though she tried to cope with life she became increasingly drawn to a counter-culture that exalted evil. She rebelled from any appearances of traditional family life. Loud clothing expressed her inner turmoil and a fascination with the occult led her to abandon herself to young people who sought darkness. “And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.” John 3:19-20.

Cyndi began using alcohol and eventually marijuana in her early teen years. She became promiscuous and by her late teens was addicted to heroin which she injected. She abused other drugs, especially crack cocaine and alcohol. “And they did not repent of their murders, or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts.” Revelation 19:21. Cyndi, unknowingly in some respects and because of the evil one’s seductions and lies, had cultivated a love for death. She was enamored with images of graveyards, the dead, and spirits. She had tattooed much of her body with representations of demons and ungodly and sensual figures. She saw life through distorted and darkened eyes which she had created by the sins of her sorceries, immoralities and lust for the occult. “And the person who turns to mediums and familiar spirits, to prostitute himself with them, I will set my face against that person and cut him off from his people.” Leviticus 20:6.

“For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened.” Romans 1:20-21.

As a Christian I began to pray for my little sister that God would save her from her sins and this life of slavery to alcohol, drugs, and immoral sex. “For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.” Romans 6:5-7.

Cyndi went to live with our dad in another state. This began her final descent into depravity. She was yet in her late teens. After a few years Dad again moved away but Cyndi continued to live there in what we later learned was the drug and street culture. I had lost contact with her. She was living with a young man, a fellow drug user, in much turmoil. Eventually, their ill-founded relationship broke apart. “For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:20-23.

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of mine and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rains descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of mine and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.” Matthew 7:24-27.

Alone, in confusion and much fear she prostituted herself. She sold herself shamelessly to obtain heroin fixes. “I have seen your adulteries and your lustful neighings, the lewdness of your harlotry, your abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! Will you still not be made clean?” Jeremiah 13:27. Mercifully, she was arrested and jailed for her illicit activities. Cyndi tried to contact our mom at this time. I was led by the Lord to understand that she was in great danger. I feared for her life because she was given over to her devilish addiction—she didn’t hold back in her worship of evil. In answer to prayer I traveled to her city and after one week of searching found Cyndi on the streets. She was afraid to come with me but was convinced by a drug counselor to go home with me and to attempt to clean up.

Cyndi and I traveled many hours to our home and during the trip I began to tell her about Jesus, the Savior of the world. “Then they said to the woman, ‘Now we believe, not because of what you said, for we ourselves have heard Him and we know that this is indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world.’” John 4:42. Cyndi arrived at our home and was warmly and lovingly welcomed by my wife. We began together to teach Cyndi about Jesus and she detoxed from heroin in our home. She was open to learn from us. She had seen the profound changes that Jesus, who is the eternal God who became a Man, had made in our lives. “For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily [in a human body]; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” Colossians 2:9-10.

We taught Cyndi as ambassadors for Christ. We pleaded with her to be reconciled to God and no longer be estranged from Him—“as though God were pleading through us.” We implored her to trust God—the Father, the Son of God [Jesus Christ], and the Holy Spirit. He is the one true God who exists in three persons. “For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; these three are one.” 1John 5:7. We taught her that Jesus is sinless and that to make sinners right with God He died for them—“to be sin for us.” We told Cyndi of God’s limitless love for all sinners and that He would deliver and free her form death and sin if she were to trust Him and repent [turn from her sins]. “For God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.

Cyndi entered a Christian women’s program and professed faith in Christ. She stopped using drugs. She looked like a new person. I remember with joy one Sunday in which Cyndi worshipped God with my wife and me and our mom!

After about a year and a half Cyndi used heroin once and died of an overdose. We trust that she is with Jesus. We loved her deeply. And because we love you, friend, we implore you to be reconciled to God. You will be at peace with God and made alive spiritually and forgiven of all your sin the moment you truly believe that Jesus Christ suffered, died, was buried and is resurrected from death for you. Turn to Jesus, your Lord, beloved.